- refuse to textspeak, even when you’re actually texting.
- but can throw in a bit of slang into your copy where necessary.
- pay Attention to Capitalization when Writing emails.
- are the one who your family turns to for obituaries.
- end up being forced to fine-tune your friends’ cover letters.
- curse more creatively than any of your coworkers.
- have an answer to everything… although sometimes not until the following day.
- spend ages deciding what to say on holiday postcards.
- actually read the packaging and consult your doctor or pharmacist.
- give books as Christmas presents.
- have a tattoo some place embarrassing – but it’s an English quote, not a Chinese character.
- constantly point out other people’s Freudian slips.
- draft and redraft your love letters.
- consider adjectives your enemy.
- never use exclamation points!
- and never end sentences with an ellipsis…
- secretly write poetry or keep a diary.
- take notes on the graffiti you find in public toilets.
- proofread Facebook and Twitter posts multiple times.
- wish you could answer in writing when people talk to you.
- put the subtitles on when watching porn.
- say things that you don’t mean, just to see how people react.
- were always the one whose essays got read out loud in class.
- make up your own bedtime stories for your children.
- envy other people’s writing skills.
- are already thinking about how you could improve this article.
Cover image via Unsplash (CC0)